Explanations ~Samantha~

[natasha]

I paced back and forth, back and forth, back and forth. I didn't know how Samantha would react, but I wasn't so much worried about her as I was Chris. Julius didn't tell Samantha yet, which left me the honors of doing so. This was pretty much my first time without Seth and it made my heart feel half empty. I needed him, but I knew we would need to do this in the future also. We couldn't always be next to each other.

I stopped dead in my tracks as I heard a sound coming from behind me. I immediately turned on my heals. I knew Samantha would be giving me a hard time about not seeing her in such a long time. It had been a month since I had last seen her. My stomach became uneasy as I looked over at my best friend who stood there before me. I didn't feel deserving of this meeting we shared. I felt as though I had abandoned her in a way, but I really was trying to figure out how to tell her that I was Seth's mate.

Pain and worry struck my face. I wondered how hurt she had been from my abscence and from the incident where I tried to kill myself. I had hurt her more than ever at that moment. I hadn't seen her since. I stood perfectly still, not breathing, not doing anything, except staring at her, waiting for her to do or say something. I loved her like a sister and now I had to explain my actions. I felt instantaneous guilt wash through me as I stared at the beautiful face that never deserved how I treated her, how I just left our relationship dangling in the air.

"I-i-i am...."

My voice became hoarse as I tried to say something, but I was too pathetic, too scared. I felt so bad, so guilty.

[Samantha Midnight]

Why was I doing this? I still loved Natasha, but I was rather pissed at her. I hadn't talked to her in a month and the last thing she left me with was her trying to commit suicide. I mean, it's fine that we don't hang out, but there were no phone calls or anything. And every time I tried to call her, Jake said she wasn't home. So, why was I going to meet her? That was an excellent question.

I treaded through the sand and finally the familiar figure came into view. Usually, I would have sprinted over to meet her with a hug and a smile; but this time was different. I walked, kind of slowly, and my jaw was set. I wanted to scream at her, but that would only make me feel guilty. I approached her and just stared at her. She was pacing and she must have heard me because she spun around. She looked a lot better since the last time I saw her.

But she looked guilty and sorry and my heart melted. But I had to stay strong. I couldn't give in now. I at least needed to tell her how I felt and then I could break down. She tried to say something, but she broke off. I lifted an eyebrow and tilted my head slightly. I must have looked like I was pissed.

I shoved my hands into the pockets of my jeans and waited for her to continue. God, I wish Julius were here... He had helped me through most of this. But I had to do this alone. I knew that. But I couldn't help myself from wanting him.

I couldn't think of anything to say, so I would just wait. But my mind went back to earlier this morning when I got her phone call. The first one in a month. She had sounded so sorry and pathetic that I had to come. Well, not just that, but I was always a genuinely curious person. I was still wondering if we were still friends. I hoped to God we were, but with her last ditch on me, I was rather unsure. I frowned as I waited for her to say something, anything. The awkward silence was killing me, but I wasn't going to be the first to break it. I was too stubborn.

[natasha]

I saw her face and I looked down away from her. I couldn't stand to look at her. I was too ashamed because of what I had done. I knew she probably wouldn't take the fact that I had gotten a new mate lightly. I stayed in silence for a few moments as we both denied to speak, but I knew I had to break it first otherwise this would be no conversation at all.

"I am sorry. I am so completely sorry, Samantha. I should have never left you in the dust like that, but listen to me is all I ask of you. After I am done, you can leave. I can see now that the damage has taken its toll. I....I...I sorta found a new mate. Do remember Seth, the wolf that was hurt in the forest on the day Wolfenheart died? That's him. He helped me become healthy again. I love him. I am so sorry. I wanted to call you so many times. I couldn't find the words to say until now. I was thinking of the best way to tell you how I felt, but couldn't stand to see the hurt and pain you felt. I love you like a sister still Samantha. I am so sorry."

I breathed now that I had been totally honest with her. I hoped she might come back and stay friends with me, but if I was in her position, I didn't think I would still stay or even come here for that matter. I didn't necessarily expect her to forgive me, but I wanted her to so badly, I couldn't explain how much I wanted her back. There weren't enough words to cover it.

[Samantha Midnight]

My mouth fell open. She had another mate. God, she moved on fast... I didn't think I could have moved on that fast if Julius had died. I wanted to lunge and strangle her. But I held back. I was her best friend. Well, I thought I was. I still couldn't think of a damn thing to say.

I stared at her and my frown slowly disappeared. I didn't smile, but I didn't frown either. How was I supposed to take this? That was unknown to me as well. Just my luck, a big gust of wind blew and my hair flew. Everywhere. It was kind of embarrassing. My hands flew from my pockets to my hair as I tried to hold it down. I grabbed the rubber band from my wrist and put my hair up in a pony tail. It was the kind of thing that Natasha and I would both be dying over, but I didn't think either of us was up for laughing like idiots right now.

When my hair was done and out of the way, I looked back at her and my hands went back to the pockets. I silently cleared my throat and I took a step towards her. I wanted to hug her. Hard. But I was supposed to be mad at her. Tears welled up, but I wouldn't let them go. I made an oath to myself that I wouldn't break down until we were done here. And I intened to obey that oath.

Natasha.... I started and my voice sounded very loud in the silence. But I couldn't think of anything else to say. She looked so sad... The tears were really starting to well up now. I bit my lip and tried to keep my composure. Didn't work.

The hot tears streaked down my face and my knees were about to give out. God dammit! I couldn't stay mad at her! I didn't even really know why I was crying like a baby. I racked my mind and body for something to go on here. I felt hurt and unwanted, but at the same time, I was finding myself accepting her apology. Damn it! My hands flew to my face and I stood there, crying like a frickin' 2 year old.

[natasha]

I felt a gust of wind pick up and I looked at Samantha who was struggling to keep her hair out of her face. My hair blew across my face also, but I allowed it to. I felt pathetic and worthless. I looked at Samantha after the wind died down and saw her attempt to stay in her composure, but saw she was miserably failing.

My mouth gaped open at her. I couldn't believe she still wanted me. My eyes didn't blink for a long time and I wondered if I was dreaming. I took three slow steps towards her and watched her cry for a second. I linked my arms around her comfortingly. I didn't feel as though I should touch her, but I wanted to comfort her at the same exact time.

"Samantha, I am so sorry. I love ya sis. I can't express how horrible I feel."

I said tears now coming to my eyes. They rolled down and I rested my head on top of Samantha's head. I interlaced one of my hands in her hair on the back of her head. It made my heart break more at her tears, but some how Samantha mended it with her tears.

I lifted my head to look at her. I wiped away some of the tears and looked into her eyes. I looked for emotions. I looked for what she would think. I looked for acceptance. I brushed the side of her cheek.

"Please stay my friend. You don't have to, I just miss you."

[Samantha Midnight]

At first, I wanted to shove her away and get the hell out of there. But as I stood there with her hugging me, I felt myself melt. I wrapped my thin arms around her waist and hugged her tightly. I could feel Natasha's tears on my head and I almost laughed.

She pulled back and I let her wipe away the traitor tears. I was about to say something emotional that would make us both cry again, but she spoke first.

"Please stay my friend. You don't have to, I just miss you."

That made more traitor tears well up. This time I managed to not loose it. I just hugged her again. I didn't really want to let her go. I missed her too much. A month. Too long. After a minute, I pulled back and tilted my head, a teasing look creeping into my eyes.

So... Seth. Explain. I said. She knew exactly what I meant. But I was still curious as to how far they actually went. I mean, Julius and I didn't go that far, but you never know. I knew Natasha too well. I smiled up at her and as the wind stopped, I pulled my hair out from the pony tail. It was getting long. It was hanging to about my mid/upper back. I placed my hands on Natasha's shoulders and my stare bore into hers. I wanted every damn detail and I wasn't leaving until she gave it to me.

[natasha]

I looked at her curiously as she gave me that face and then I understood completely after she asked. I blushed a deep rose red and looked at her and laughed. She wanted to know ever bit of information from experiences with the last month of living with Seth. I rolled my eyes and sat down. This might be a long conversation. Either way, I wanted to sit if we were going to talk. I motioned for her to sit down in front of me while we talked.

"Okay, well, might be a bit of a long story. There are some really juicy parts you might like or might not...."

I said pausing before I continued and inhaled before I went on.

"Okay, so I met him in the woods when I ran from everything I had known and at the time, I was starving myself. He welcomed me into the cave where he stayed and he took care of me allowing me to rest and when I woke up, he made me some food and we ate. He kinda imprinted on me all in one night. So, uh, a week later I kinda got ahead of myself and well..."

I paused blushing more and continued.

"Well, I planned out the setting and we kinda shared our virginity with one another."

I looked at her seeing her pleading face to go in depth with the whole sleeping together thing. I rolled my eyes and continued.

"Well, okay, so I brought candles and silk. I only left a shirt covering me. So when he came back to the cave, he teased me a bit and one thing led to another, but anyways, it did hurt slightly when he broke the barrier, you know, but other than that, it was quite pleasurable."

I said blushing slightly and looked at her face.

[Samantha Midnight]

I sat down in front of Natasha indian-style and stared at her. She seemed embarrassed. It made me smile. This was going to be good, I could tell. As she started telling me everything, I just listened and didn't interrupt.

At a few parts, my mouth fell open and my eyebrows shot up and my eyes widened. Oh my Gawd! When she was finished, I couldn't help but laugh. Hysterically. I was actually laying down, holding my stomach.

When I finally got a grip on myself, I sat up and looked at her, my eyes watering. I sighed and my hand pressed against my stomach where I had a cramp.

Actually, my non-virgin friend, I don't know. Like... how bad did it hurt?

I couldn't help but ask that question. I needed to be prepared for when Julius and I, uh.... yeah.

I grinned at her, getting ready to crack up at her answer and facial expressions. This was actually turning out to be a great day. I tilted my head and waited impatiently. I could tell she was thinking how to answer me. It was hilarious. I held back my laugh and folded my hands in my lap, looking like the picture of innocence.

I couldn't wrap my mind around the fact that Natasha, innocent sweet Natasha, had had sex. It was mindblowing. It was, well, yeah, mindblowing. Almost too much. I grinned again and waited. I knew she was building suspense and it was killing me. I wanted to grab her by the shoulders and shake her and yell, "tell me!". But I didn't.

[natasha]

I laughed out of amusement with her question and made it look as though I was deep in thought. I looked at her and raised my eyebrows teasingly. I knew she would soon experience the same with Julius. It made me laugh more, but this time I held the laughter in while my body shook.

"You will just have to wait and find out."

I said teasingly and I slowly got up and ran from her knowing she would try to get the answer and would playfully hurt me because of how I teased her. I wished Seth was here with me so Samantha could meet him in person. Samantha had only seen the hurt Seth and not the real Seth.

I felt Samantha tackle me from behind and I fell to the ground laughing from hysteria. It was nice to have her be my sis again. I felt completely whole now that I had her back in my life. It was nice to be able to tell her everything even though she might have laughed at me.

I wondered how Julius was doing. I hadn't seen him since the last time which was about a month ago, a little less than that. He had assumed the worst or the best in my case. I blushed at the thought. I wondered if he thought of me in a different way now because of how quickly I gave myself to Seth.

I made Samantha roll over and got up.

"Now listen hear missy...."

I said giggling and waving my finger at her playfully and then collapsed on the ground with laughter. Once I calmed down a bit and refrained from laughing, I sat up and looked at her.

"So how is Julius?"

I asked smiling and broke out in laughter at the sight of her.

[Samantha Midnight]

I was actually expecting her to answer fully, not what she did. She got up and ran away, and I jumped to my feet and sprinted after her. I caught up to her with ease and I jumped on her back, bringing her down. I landed on top of her and we were both laughing like a bunch of idiots. It was nice to have my sister back.

She pushed me off and I lay there, laughing and panting and nearly having a heart attack. Natasha got up and said, "Now listen here missy." and she fell over laughing. At the sight of her, I nearly died laughing.

When I finally got a grip on myself, I placed my hand over my hurting stomach and sat up. My hair was full of sand. I started to comb through it with my fingers, but gave up as I kept coming into contact with knots. Natasha asked how Julius was and I inhaled deeply. God, that was a question.

Natasha burst out laughing again, and I couldn't help but laugh along with her. Hysterically. What a reunion. I braced my hands on the sand behind me and crossed my legs at the ankles. I leaned my head back and the sandy hair fell behind me as well.

Hm... perfect. I said.

[natasha]

Her appearance was quite amusing. Her hair had sand bunched in it and it was knotted. The back of Samantha's shirt and pants were fully covered in sand. It was hilarious and I couldn't deny it so I just fell on my back laughing at her, although, I did have the same problem with my shirt and pants and now my hair.

I sat up and brushed my fingers through my hair and getting all the sand out. Unlike her hair, myn brushed through easily. I looked at her and leaned over slightly putting pressure on my left palm and I lifted my right hand to carefully and gently untangle her hair. I kept picking through the knots which were numerous at this point.

Once I finished after ten minutes of untangling and brushing through her hair with my fingers, her hair was at least back to normal. I sat upright in a normal position and crossed my legs. I looked at her and smiled. It was nice to have her be my sis again and I don't know how many times I was going to think that or say that for that matter.

I just stared at her for a moment and leaned over and hugged her. "Thanks for not leaving me sis." I whispered into her ear. I couldn't express how much gratitude I had for her in my heart right now. I felt tears come to my eyes. I wanted to hug her for a long time. I didn't care if it was awkward, I just missed her so much.

[Samantha Midnight]

I let Natasha comb through my hair, only because I gave up on it. When she finished, my hands flew to my hair to inspect her work. Almost perfect. Of coarse, she couldn't get every grain of sand, but that was fine. I didn't really care. She sat cross-legged across from me and she just stared at me. I was about to ask her what she was staring at, but then she leaned forward and hugged me.

I wrapped my thin arms around her as she said thanks for not leaving me, sis. That brought a whole new round of tears on. They clouded my vision and I blinked a few times and they disappeared.

I could never hate you, you silly, non-virgin, girl.

I was joking a little bit, only because we needed something funny. There had been too many tears in the past twenty minutes. I pulled away after a minute and smiled at her. She looked like she had been crying. She had. There was a tear sliding down her face. I wiped it away quickly and laughed.

Look at us. We're like a bunch of cry-babies. I laughed as a few tears streaked down my own face. I wiped at the wetness on my face and giggled. As I looked at my hands, I noticed black. Crap. My mascara. I laughed even harder. The crying thing still had an effect on me. I sniffled and tried to wipe the dripping mascara away. I probably looked horrible. I picked a perfect day to loose my waterproof stuff and need to use the non-waterproof stuff. Natasha didn't seem to have any issues with dripping mascara, so that was a good thing.

[natasha]

I knew from the beginning that what I said would send tears to both of our eyes. It was nice to be able to hug her again and not have any horrible feelings between us. As we departed, I continued to laugh at her comments about us being cry babies.

I nodded and then I broke out in hard laughter as I saw the mascara smeared under her eyes. I had no problems with that. I always wore the waterproof stuff so it didn't matter. That's why I was able to go swimming all the time and have limited problems with the mascara mess.

I reached my hand up calmly and brushed my hand under her eyes and wiped some of the mascara Samantha missed while trying to get rid of it on her own.

I laughed once or twice at the thought of us crying. "I bet we would look so pathetic right now to other people." I said laughing again. I couldn't imagine how dirty the back of my shirt and jeans were right now. I knew they were covered with bits of sand.

"Well, would you like to meet Seth again? I mean the real Seth. Not the limp and hurt one you first met. He is really quite nice actually. Maybe we could go on a double date or something. If you and Julius are up to it."

I said as a grin crossed my face. Now that I had gotten over Wolfenheart, it seemed to have opened up many doors for myself and Seth, of course.

[Samantha Midnight]

Natasha helped me wipe all of the mascara out from under my eyes. I let her. I couldn't see what I was doing, anyway. Thanks I said. Then she said that we must look pathetic. I burst out in hysteric laughter.

We do! I said between giggles. It must have looked funny and pathetic. First we were all somber and quiet, then we were talking and hugging and crying, then we were laughing like idiots, then we were crying again. Now I was laughing again. Good Lord...

Then Natasha asked if I wanted to meet the "real" Seth and we could double date. I beamed and nodded vigorously.

That would be awesome! I'd have to talk to Julius, but I have a good feeling about it. He likes you and Seth.

I looked around and reached behind me to wipe all of the sand off of my back. My shirt was loaded with sand. At least I was wearing a sweater. I ripped the sweater off and stood up. I shook it out and started wiping the back of my jeans off. When I got as far as I would, I put the sweater back on and sat down. Oh well, I just wiped myself off for nothing, but I didn't really care.

I looked at Natasha and started giggling again. I had no idea why I was giggling, but it was actually kind of funny. I placed my hand on my stomach again and sighed. I had been laughing a lot today.